Midlife is a time when many men start to question their purpose, identity, and future. While some may experience a "midlife crisis," this period can also be seen as a midlife renaissance - a chance to rediscover and reinvent oneself.
Embracing ikigai and the Power of Small Steps
Central to navigating this journey is the Japanese concept of ikigai, which offers a holistic approach to finding meaning in life. Unlike the Western tendency to seek bold, radical change, ikigai teaches the value of taking small, incremental steps toward fulfillment, as emphasized by Ken Mogi. By understanding the seven stages of a man’s midlife renaissance, we can see how the true Japanese Ikigai philosophy, with its focus on small steps, can guide men toward a deeper, more meaningful life.
The seven stages of a man’s midlife crisis:
1. Denial or discontentment
2. Self-reflection and introspection
3. Desire for change
4. Seeking novelty and excitement
5. Identity exploration
6. Navigating transitions
7. Acceptance and integration
Denial or Discontentment
The midlife renaissance often begins with a sense of discontentment or denial. Men may achieve success in their careers or personal lives but still feel that something essential is missing. They may brush aside these feelings, convincing themselves they should be satisfied, but this discontent is a sign that deeper issues of purpose and fulfillment need attention.
At this stage, the true Japanese concept of Ikigai begins to take root. Contrary to the Westernized version, which focuses on grand ambitions and passions, traditional Ikigai is found in the small, everyday joys of life. It’s not about drastic changes but aligning daily actions with a deeper sense of purpose. This stage of discontent can be a sign that you’re disconnected from the small meaningful aspects of life that bring joy, fulfillment, and meaning. In Japan, Ikigai could be as simple as the pleasure of making tea, tending to a garden, or engaging with a community—small actions that give life richness.
Self-reflection and Introspection
As discontent grows, men enter a period of self-reflection and introspection. They start questioning their purpose, happiness, and identity. This is a key phase during which men ask themselves if their lives truly reflect their values and desires.
Here, Ken Mogi’s concept of small steps becomes vital. Rather than making sweeping, immediate changes all at once, Mogi suggests making minor adjustments that slowly bring life back into balance. Ikigai can be found in these simple, incremental changes. This reflection isn’t about seeking massive shifts but recognizing areas where small improvements in areas of your life can make a big difference and help you find more meaning and joy.
In contrast, the Western mindset often encourages big, bold changes, such as quitting a job, moving cities, or pursuing a new hobby or passion. However, in the Japanese sense of ikigai, true fulfillment comes from consistency and patience. By reflecting on what brings them happiness, and by experimenting with small daily habits that align with inner values, men can begin to reconnect with their deeper purpose.
Desire for Change
After a period of reflection, many men feel a strong desire for change. This is often where the Western interpretation of Ikigai comes in, focusing on finding work or activities that align with personal passions. Men may feel the urge to pivot their careers, explore new hobbies, or shift relationships to find more meaning in life.
While this desire is natural, the Japanese approach to Ikigai, however, suggests that change doesn’t need to be dramatic to be effective. Ken Mogi emphasizes small, meaningful changes that create a sense of progress. If a man feels unfulfilled at work, for example, he could start by finding ways to contribute positively to his workplace or community rather than quitting and searching for an entirely new career.
In Japan, Ikigai is often deeply connected to social roles and the sense of contributing to the greater good. Even small, everyday acts of kindness or responsibility can give life a deep sense of purpose. The Western push for immediate change sometimes overlooks this quiet, sustainable path to fulfillment.
Seeking Novelty and Excitement
After accepting the desire for change, many men enter a stage of seeking novelty and excitement. This is often associated with the stereotype of a "midlife crisis," where men might take up new hobbies, travel, or make drastic lifestyle changes in an attempt to reclaim a sense of youth and vitality.
While this quest for excitement is natural, Ikigai encourages a more grounded approach. In Japan, novelty is valued, but it’s balanced with stability and community. Ken Mogi’s idea of small steps suggests that excitement doesn’t have to come from extreme or impulsive actions. Instead, it can be found in learning a new skill, reconnecting with an old passion, or deepening existing relationships.
In contrast, the Western drive for novelty often focuses on large, bold moves—buying a sports car, taking drastic risks, embarking on extreme adventures, or making significant lifestyle shifts. While these actions may provide temporary thrills, they don’t always lead to long-term fulfillment. Ikigai teaches that true excitement comes from everyday joys, and it’s the accumulation of these moments that creates a lasting sense of happiness. 5.
Identity Exploration
As men explore new interests, they begin a deeper process of identity exploration. They ask themselves, "Who am I really?" This stage involves peeling away societal roles—such as career titles, family expectations, or social status—and getting to the core of one’s true self.
The Japanese concept of Ikigai is key here. Unlike in the West, where identity is often seen as an individual pursuit, Ikigai is about one’s connection to others. Mogi’s small-step approach encourages men to explore their identity through activities and roles that feel authentic and meaningful. Identity, in the Ikigai sense, is not about dramatic reinvention but how one interacts with the world and impacts others.
While the Western mindset may encourage bold self-reinvention, Ikigai shows that identity exploration is an ongoing process. It evolves through small actions, connections, and reflections, leading to a deeper, more integrated sense of self over time. Identity exploration becomes a gradual ongoing process rather than a dramatic shift.
Navigating Transitions After exploring identity, men enter the stage of navigating transitions. These can involve career changes, relationship shifts, or rethinking long-held beliefs about success and fulfillment. These transitions often feel unsettling as old roles fade away and new ones are not yet fully formed.
Ken Mogi’s small-step philosophy is especially important in this phase. Rather than making abrupt changes, Mogi advocates for small, deliberate shifts that allow men to adjust gradually to their new circumstances. This aligns with the Ikigai concept of living a life in harmony with one’s values and community. Transitions become a period of thoughtful, incremental progress rather than a time of upheaval.
While the Western approach often calls for bold moves during transitions—whether starting a new business, moving to a new city, or taking on a new role—the Japanese concept of Ikigai emphasizes patience and adaptation, allowing time for smoother transitions that lead to more sustainable outcomes.
Acceptance and Integration
The final stage of the midlife renaissance is acceptance and integration. After navigating through reflection, change, and exploration, men reach a point where they can accept their new path and integrate their past experiences with their newfound sense of purpose, direction, and meaning. This is where the deeper meaning of Ikigai fully manifests.
In the Japanese understanding of Ikigai, acceptance is about living each day with purpose and joy, no matter how small the actions may seem. It’s not about reaching a final destination but about embracing the journey and finding meaning in the ordinary moments of daily life. Ken Mogi’s small-steps philosophy encourages men to continue building on small, joyful actions that align with their values and bring satisfaction.
In the Western mindset, there is often a focus on "arriving" at a state of fulfillment, as though there is an endpoint. Ikigai teaches that life is an ongoing process of finding balance and meaning in everyday actions. Acceptance is about harmonizing with who you are, your community, and the world around you—not about achieving a perfect, final state of happiness.
The Power of Small Steps: Ikigai vs. Western Big Moves
Ken Mogi’s interpretation of Ikigai highlights the power of small steps to bring about incremental but meaningful changes in life. This contrasts with the Western emphasis on bold moves—quitting jobs, making radical lifestyle shifts, or taking drastic leaps in search of fulfillment. While these bold actions may bring temporary excitement, they can also lead to burnout or dissatisfaction if they don’t align with deeper values.
In the Ikigai approach, small, consistent actions bring long-term fulfillment. Whether it’s practicing a daily hobby, spending time with loved ones, or contributing to your community, these small steps build up into a meaningful life. This philosophy encourages men in their midlife renaissance to focus less on radical reinvention and more on steady, thoughtful progress.
Conclusion
The seven stages of a men’s midlife renaissance—denial, self-reflection, desire for change, seeking novelty, identity exploration, navigating transitions, and acceptance—represent a powerful and profound transformation journey. By embracing the true Japanese concept of Ikigai, focusing on small steps and daily meaning, men can navigate these stages with greater intention and clarity. Instead of large, disruptive changes, fulfillment is found in small, consistent actions that align with one’s values and bring purpose to everyday life. In this way, midlife becomes not a crisis but a renaissance—a chance to rediscover the joy, meaning, and balance that have been there all along.